Running Commentary of “Home” (The X-Files)

Okay. I’m a massive fan of The X-Files, but when first watching the show all the way through, I skipped the episode “Home.” I was watching it with my mother and she didn’t want to sit through it again.  I also have a friend who stopped watching The X-Files after this episode, because she was so disturbed by it. On top of that, there are all these stories about how they wouldn’t rebroadcast it, about it being the first episode of the series to get a viewer discretion warning and TV-MA rating, and it all built up this kind of mystique in my head. But I decided to be brave and watch the episode (in the morning. Before work. With daylight. And total control over volume and playback). Let’s do this.

It’s a cute house, really. Bit of a fixer upper…

-Yikes. That opening is unsettling. Though nothing necessarily paranormal happened.

-Mulder is a child. Whenever they’re at a crime scene he has to play with the victim’s/suspect’s/witness’s stuff. Put the baseball down.

-Interesting. Mulder and Scully don’t have the same picture of an idyllic lifestyle.

-I can almost hear banjos dueling in the distance.

-Ew! Ew. Ew. You kept the dead baby on a tray in the fridge? With your food?! Eeeeew!

-Loving the Andy Griffith references.

-Always with the flirting.

-I’m expecting to hear a chainsaw revved up at any moment…

-But why does the Peacock family choose to live in the dark like that in the first place? Actually, to be fair, I usually keep the curtains drawn as long as possible. But I’ve not boarded up my windows yet. Yet.

-Mulder going into yoga poses to pick up the TV signal is a problem today’s kids won’t understand.

-Are the Peacocks wearing goth lipstick in the scene where they all pile into the car?

-“Maybe you don’t have to lock your doors around here.” There’s  a murderer on the loose, Mulder! How ’bout tonight we lock the door?!

-I’m terrified for Sheriff Andy.

-Yep. There he goes.

-Could they smell the wife? Cause I’d actually count a heightened sense of smell as a plus on the evolutionary track.

-I get that they’re inbred, but they’re also all incredibly deformed, which could just be a different thing. Like, do they ever address how long this family’s been like this? It couldn’t have been more than two generations, right? Also, they really remind me of something…

Buffy vampires. That’s what it is. They look like Buffy vampires.

These lovely gentlemen kill newborns.

-Ooooh, Deputy Barney’s out for blood.

-I don’t wanna know what happened to the chickens all those feathers belong to.

-Bye, Barney. But, like, obviously that was gonna happen.

-Maybe they should have more than 2 people handling the Monster House job. Though now I’m really hoping for some serious Home Alone antics.

-Ohmigod. Scully speaking Babe to the pigs. But, of course, that’s the command to herd sheep, not pigs. I presume that’s why it isn’t working.

-Yes! Indiana Jones house!

-Mulder’s reaction to the news about Elvis has me in stitches.

-Okay, so I had already heard about the mother under the bed, which makes this all…well, less surprising, I don’t know about less disturbing. Also, there are a lot of women being stowed under beds in this episode.

-“They’re such good boys.” They’re really not.

-WHY ARE THEY IMPERVIOUS TO BULLETS? And baseball bats for that matter?

-She’s not there…how…

-Just chilling in the trunk (no, I know what was actually happening in the trunk. They just had to cram a little more incest in the end).

-That seems risky though. What if he locked himself in and couldn’t get back out? I’ve never been locked in a car trunk before. How do you get out of a closed trunk?

-Aaaaand the song “Wonderful Wonderful” is effectively ruined for me now.

-Other than the fact that they’d been shot a dozen times before going down, which was never commented on, there was nothing supernatural about this case, and I don’t understand why Mulder and Scully were specifically assigned to it, and the audience subjected to it.

Okay. It actually wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. But I think a lot of that can be chalked up to the fact that I knew what it was about going in. And I knew that the limbless mother was under the bed. I had really built this one up in my brain, based on everything I heard about it, but I’m actually feeling pretty okay. Almost…I’m tempted to say underwhelmed, but that makes it sound like it wasn’t good. I’m not saying that. It’s a great episode. I was just expecting nightmares.

But no time to linger. I have a re-watch to finish before the new episodes come out in January.

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About Risa Romano

Writer type thing. I work on stories for kids when I'm on the clock and screenplays quite a bit less for kids when I'm not. I have a blog: rambleonnerdyponderings.wordpress.com I'm also the creator and moderator of the Doctor Who vodcast/podcast A Disused Yeti: https://adisusedyeti.wordpress.com/
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